How to Play the Narcissist’s Game (And Beat Him At It)

Wendy November 10, at I married my husband after 3 years of dating. He was a master at making me feel sorry for him. I never realized I was such the bleeding heart until now, looking back at the mental abuse that I accepted, for years not expecting more for myself. Finally a year ago, I asked for the divorce. We were in marriage counseling from the start. I never could quite understand what was wrong. We never could resolve issues and he was a master at flipping things after appalling behavior by him, He never showed any empathy at necessary times.

The Narcissist HATES Being Ignored

As I mentioned, there are exceptions — there is a group of guys who prefer older women, and there is a group of women who is uniquely attractive despite being older. But denying that a significant age difference is an issue is like denying that a typical woman wants to be with a guy who is taller. Many younger men appreciate the wisdom, intelligence, reponsibility and maturity an older woman brings to the relationship.

Most younger men in this study, preferred to date years older than their own age. You underestimate how many younger men are tired of the games women their age play. Again, there are exceptions, but relying on it is a risky proposition, to say the least.

My ex is not only a married man, but he also has Narcissist personality disorder. He would treat me like the best and next moment blame his wife or me for everything.

Learning to Dream Again After Divorce There are plenty of articles about how to heal after divorcing a narcissist but what if you want to try to keep your marriage intact without losing your mind? It is certainly do-able but it is going to take time, dedication, and a thick skin on your part. Make sure that you count the cost and understand what you are signing up for. I am a firm believer in the importance and seriousness of marriage vows. When I divorced my ex after 30 years I did not do it lightly.

I had a vision of this thing dragging on for years so I filed. It was the right thing for my children and myself. You will need to weigh your situation and decide what is best for you and your children. They only know that they are important and of course everyone is vitally interested in everything they do! They never question whether they might be a bit self-indulgent but they will quickly let you know that you are being self-involved when you are not focused completely on them.

The Dangers of a Relationship with a Narcissist

Several mass shooters share the same Zodiac Sign. Find out what sign is more likely to commit a mass shooting? Narcissists can be very powerful. They must choose whether they want to use their power for good or evil.

A married narcissist typically – but not always – will be a high-level narcissist, meaning that he is a narcissist with a good job and usually a good deal of money. At the very least, he is self-sufficient.

It takes a very special OW indeed to compete against a married woman that had no idea she was competing at all. I am not sure who I feel more sorrow for, the OW for being morally and emotionally bankrupt, for not being able to compete in the real world, for not having enough self respect or integrity to play fair, or the betrayed spouse for being lied to, deceived, cheated, plotted against, made fun of, intentionally hurt.

Blindsided and her heart and world ripped out from under her, only to learn that it’s going to never be the same, that the OW helped steal years of happiness, caused years of emotional abuse to spread like disease through out the marriage and household and ultimately affected every aspect of the family unit in a negative way.

All was uninvited, unwelcome and came unknowingly by the betrayed spouse. Please know OW, you were not all that and a bag of chips. He didn’t want you because you were special, because you were beautiful, because you were smart, because you were witty, because you cooked better, because you were his sole mate, because you were better in bed, because you were sexier.

None of those things apply to you. He wanted you because of the exact opposite. You were nothing more than a dirty little secret. What kind of a loving, wonderful man that wants you in every way, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and in love would keep you a “dirty little secret”, hidden in a stinky little apartment, only to visit for an hour or two at a time?

What kind of a loving wonderful man that wants you in every way, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and in love would not want to take you out in public and announce to the world that he is in love with you? And you OW, why on earth would you sit and wait for him? Why would you accept such treatment?

Younger Man / Older Woman

Have you ever noticed that manipulative partners pair up with easy marks? Unfortunately, you just may find yourself among them. The narcissist comes in more than one flavor, of course. He or she may not be overflowing with obviously inappropriate behaviors or the tell-tale distorted sense of self-importance.

If your man’s a narcissist, he probably has an air about him that says, “I can do whatever I want and IDGAF how you feel about it, babe.” He turns everything around on you. Everything you do is a personal insult against him.

He blogs at MattForney. He is the author of Do the Philippines and many other books, available here. Inverted narcissists also known as inverts, covert narcissists or codependents share many traits with overt regular narcissists, with the biggest difference being how they interact with others. Regular narcissists are vampires who seek to draw adulation narcissistic supply from other people, while inverted narcissists offer themselves as supply.

In other words, regular narcissists are predators and inverted narcissists are prey. The main reason why codependent women are so dangerous is because they outwardly possess many of the traits that neomasculine men want: I have extensive experience with inverted narcissist women because my personality attracts a lot of girls who lean towards codependency. In contrast to classic narcissists, inverts tend to be shy, emotionally sensitive, outwardly fragile, and self-deprecating.

Like classic narcissists , inverted narcissists have no self-esteem and lack a unique personality. Vaknin identifies abusive, narcissistic parenting as one of the primary causes of codependency. Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers , Dr. Karyl McBride shows that narcissistic mothers often produce codependent daughters. Through their manipulations and antics for example, McBride discusses one woman whose mother would seduce her boyfriends when she was a teenager , narcissistic mothers train their daughters to provide supply and sublimate their identities into theirs , preventing them from developing personalities of their own.

Signs You Are Dating a Narcissist

Therefore, the question remains. Why would a Narcissist get married? In addition, to wondering why a Narcissist gets married, I am often asked why they rush into relationships, and why they rush into marriage. As for example, here is a question that was presented on my support forum. Why would a Narcissist rush into marriage? If Narcissists are afraid of intimacy, and afraid of commitment, why and what would posses them to want to marry you so soon?

Many divorced Christian women, feeling the psychological abuse during the marriage, want to know if they were married to a narcissist. Surprisingly, male narcissists often stay married for longer periods of time than anyone would think.

CP July 25, at 4: My ex malignant boss was bothering umpteen women at work. Then he would act all religious, Mr. Volunteer right after demeaning and belittling all these gals and his own wife then 20 minutes later be praising her and the women at work? I swear they are messed in the head. He would act all nice, but full of crap.

Not only sexual, but financially as well. He wanted all the women to cater to him. Always wanting attention constantly. He tried wooing 3 or more single gals into stupid behavior. Thank you Zari Ballard August 12, at A good portion of them do!

Narcissistic Spouse Replaces You Quickly

See some words or phrases that you don’t understand? Check out The Dragon’s Lexicon. My dreams consist of love, laughter, and living life to its fullest. A lover of fine wine and food, I tend to break the bank of those who can handle me. But I make up for that in many other ways Greg Dragon Solid advice but if the married man knows what he is doing, this stuff will of course fall on deaf ears.

I Dated A Narcissist April 4, by Coach Corey Wayne 7 Comments How to know if you are or were dating narcissist and how to recognize the signs of narcissistic behavior so you can leave the relationship with your sense of self, self esteem and dignity intact.

This is why it is essential that you find people who can give you the strength you need to overcome the hard times. Unfortunately, as part of his mind games, the narcissist may well have already contacted mutual friends and family to convince them of your wrongdoing and even if he has not, many people will struggle to identify with the person you describe — remember, he may well have put on the charm around others. But wherever you find them — and it might be that you have to seek out people who have been in your situation and understand what you are going through — be sure to keep them at hand for the inevitable moments of self doubt and surrender.

Let them know the boundaries you have set and tell them to call you out should you ever let these boundaries drift or fall down. You may find that you have altercations with your supporters, but let it be known to them in advance that you appreciate all that they are doing for you. Recognize Your Own Limiting Beliefs Having a narcissist for a partner can well and truly mess with your head and the result is likely to be a number of limiting beliefs that you have about yourself , them, and your relationship.

For instance, you might believe that: They are incapable of love, meaning your love can never prevail. You are not to blame and you can find greater happiness elsewhere. Things can never go back to how they were and stay that way because they have not seen any error in their ways. Practice Self Kindness And Understanding An essential component of saying goodbye to the narcissist in your life is to be kind to yourself in the process.

During your time together, he will have broken you down repeatedly and left you doubting yourself, your beauty inner and outer , and your ability to function without him. Just know that you are deserving of more.

The Narcissist in Old Age

At the age of 26, I was swept off my feet by a modern day Prince Charming. We met at a lake and within weeks he began to shower me with gifts, flowers, poems, expensive vacations, shopping sprees and affection. Things moved quickly and while I saw red flags, I chose to ignore them. There were several times than I caught him lying, but I believed his excuses.

By the time I understood this personality disorder, we had two daughters, were almost 2 million dollars in debt and I had lost every ounce of respect that I once had for this man.

Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they’re superior to others and have little regard for other people’s feelings. But behind this mask of ultra- confidence lies a fragile self-esteem , vulnerable to the slightest criticism. Here are ten telltale signs, with excerpts from my book click on title: While most of us are guilty of some of the following behaviors at one time or another, a pathological narcissist tends to dwell habitually in several of the following personas, while remaining largely unaware of or unconcerned with how her or his actions affect others.

Loves to Talk About Oneself One of the easiest ways to detect a possible narcissist is by listening to the way he or she speaks. A pathological narcissist loves to talk about himself, often in exaggerated and grandiose terms. Like a master salesperson, they use charisma to get your attention , flattery to make you feel special, seduction flirting , gifts, dinners, get-aways, sex , etc. He or she is not really interested in you, but only what he wants to extract from you often to fulfill an inner emptiness due to the inability to create true intimacy.

Lack of Reliability and Follow Through Another way to spot a narcissist is to measure her or his actions against her words. Many narcissists lack reliability and follow through. This can range from regularly breaking appointments, to habitually falling through on promises and agreements. The lack of dependability can be emotional as well – being there for you one minute and gone the next.

When you observe a pattern of inconsistency between what your partner says, versus what she or he actually does, you may be dealing with a narcissist.

Signs You Are Dating a Narcissist

His withered body and his overworked mind betray him at the same time. He stares in disbelief and rage at cruel mirrors. Subjected to childhood abuse, the narcissist ages prematurely and finds himself in a time warp; he is in a constant struggle with midlife crisis. When he was a child prodigy, a sex symbol, an actor or idol, a stud, or an outstanding intellectual-the narcissist was at the center of attention.

Dating a narcissist married man and married. Single pen pals for dating or friendship. For optimum results we recommend just searching for one keyword. In fact, eternal progression toward Godhood is limited to those who marry for time and eternity celestial marriage in a ceremony conducted by a properly ordained member of the LDS priesthood in.

Is it a symptom of something else? Narcissistic people often have narcissistic parents, who offered them a build up but no real substance. The child was only useful to these parents when they were serving a purpose for them. Often, a condescending remark will help them to reestablish their superior image. This behavior can be traced back to the need desperate need narcissists feel to be above others.

What are the different types of Narcissism? Grandiose narcissists display high levels of grandiosity, aggression and dominance. They tend to be more confident and less sensitive.

In Love With A Married Man